Lessons From the Vine

The Vine and the Branches
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (For more vine talk, see John 15.)

Today one of our Board Members, Bruce, led devos. He was talking about the passage above. A few things struck me...

1. Cutting off is an act of love, even though it hurts. Conviction of sin is an act of love, even though it hurts. God doesn't want us to be like this; he wants us to be more free and live more whole and abundant and fulfilling lives....so he points out the ways we aren't.

2. Both good and bad things are cut off (pruning is a form of cutting)...sometimes God asks us to stop doing things that are good or morally acceptable. That makes me think of taking steps to not over-commit. Usually over-committed people aren't necessarily involved in "bad" activities, but the badness is just that there are SO MANY activities. Is God asking you to do some pruning? To cut out anything that's good so that you can be more fruitful?

3. I am already clean...I have a hard time forgiving myself a lot and it's just incredible that God forgives us; we are such messed up people! Somewhere recently I read something about how "blameless" does not equal "faultless." God sees us as blameless and took the blame for our sin, but we aren't faultless. We still screw up all the time. God isn't denying the fact that we sin all the time. He isn't pretending he didn't notice all the times we've screwed up. He isn't looking at us and saying, "You have no faults; you're perfect, just like me!" He knows everything. He's saying, "I know every rotten thing you've done, but I'm not going to punish you for those rotten things (sins) because I already took the punishment/blame for them on the cross." I never understood how God could see me as blameless if I've done awful things because I always used to think that blameless equaled faultless, but they're different.

4. No branch can bear fruit by itself....Bruce said it's not the branch's job to bear fruit. The vine is what will control whether there is fruit. I can't bear fruit by working harder or trying to be perfect, just by staying connected to God. God controls the growth and development of the fruit. My job is to not cut myself off from Him. That is plenty big enough of a job, I'd say, too. My job is to focus on God, not to be inspecting the quality and quantity of my fruit.

It was a perfect day for Bruce to share about that. Yesterday I got to love and encourage and pray for several people and I was amazed that I got to be a part of that. I could not have arranged that---so many different people at so many different times, right when they needed a friend. That was totally God. The fruit just kind of happened. It wasn't planned. It wasn't something I prayed a lot about beforehand. It wasn't any work that I did. He just put me in the same place as the people and they were hurting and I loved them and it was natural. It just happened. It makes me want to be more connected to him.

Joy Update

Yesterday the joy involved eating donuts for dinner

outside

on a picnic blanket

without using our hands

(i.e. mouth scrambling around our plates trying to connect with donut). My roommates Helen and Laura chose to participate in this joyful adventure with me. We did take some pictures, which someday--hopefully--I will be able to post on the blog.

Today God did something really cool in Helen's life and when she came to tell me about it, I put the fun, purple boa that was in the care package that my church sent me around her neck and hugged her and we prayed, praising God for how he still does miracles. Maybe I'll call it the miracle boa and break it out when we see something cool that God's doing and people will stop and ask, "Why do you have a fluffy purple boa on?" and it will be a great opportunity to say what He's been up to. The other wonderfully fun items in the package are now in the bottom drawer of my desk, which I have now named "the drawer of joy." They're ready for use at any time... Have I mentioned that God is good lately?

I've Got the Joy

The last few days have had some really sad points because several of my friends are hurting, but God has been so good in refocusing me on Him...it has resulted in lots of joy! Yesterday the joy involved chocolate cake--a homemade recipe from Kenya. Yum! The day before it involved bubbles! I looked down at the sink when I was washing dishes and saw a bubble and thought, "Hey, we should make bubbles!" So Helen and I broke out some straws and twisted them into various shapes to make bubble wands. Then we mixed up some water and dish soap and enjoyed much laughing out on our porch. There were few bubbles, but much laughing. I was okay with that, as if I had to pick one of the two I would have picked the laughing!

As it turns out, glycerol is important in bubble making. We didn't have any of that on hand, though it did sound familiar. Angie (former missionary in Chile) said that shampoo actually works even better than dish soap! And Helen invented a new type of bubble wand that was small but much more effective than our other prototypes. Cut a straw so that it is two inches long, dip one end in your bubble solution, and blow on the opposite end. You don't even have to touch your lips to the straw to make it work. And there's no twisting and cutting of straws involved; it's just plain, simple, and fun. Though, I would like to add that any bubble making experience is incomplete if you do not spin in circles with your make shift bubble wand and say "woooooooooo" at least a few times. The sound effects make a difference. It's been proven!

Pride Check: Do You Choose Shame or Sadness?

Powerlessness is an opportunity to trust and grow. That was the topic of my last e-mail update. Since then there have been many more opportunities to trust and grow. Several this week even.

I have been thinking a lot about the difference between feeling shame over sin and sadness over sin. When I feel shame, I get stuck in a self-focused, downward spiral of guilt and condemnation. It's based on thinking that I have control and that I should be able to do better if I just work harder at doing better. But I keep failing. So I get mad at myself for not being perfect and not working hard enough and feel more ashamed. It's a cycle that's totally based in pride. Pride says that I have power (like Jesus does). Pride says that I have to be perfect (like Jesus was). Pride says that I have to take the punishment for sin (like Jesus did). There is no room for Jesus in this cycle and it never results in drawing me closer to Him. Shame says that I should be able to do this on my own and I'm mad that I can't. Shame says I have to beg God to help me. Shame doubts God's goodness.

Feeling sadness over sin is different. When I feel sadness over sin, my repentance does not lead to self-condemnation and self-focus, it leads to gratitude for Jesus and focus on Him. It is based in humility, which says I don't have the power to make you feel loved, I don't have the power to heal you, I'm not perfect, and I'm so thankful that you love me. I'm so thankful that you died to forgive me. I'm so thankful that you keep pursing me when I fall short. Sadness says that I can't do this without you and I'm thankful that you're here to help me. Sadness trusts God's goodness.

Prayer Requests:
-Conviction of pride
-Focus on Christ and not myself
-Increased trust in God's goodness
-Increased trust in God's forgiveness
-Increased trust in God's love
-A heart of gratitude

Always Learning

Several of you have mentioned that I haven't posted much on here for a while. My apologies. Technically, we are allotted a bit of time each week during work hours to do support raising, but up until last week I never took advantage of it because I'd get all excited about doing various jobs in the Media Division to serve our missionaries. Just when I think I've learned all the "basic" stuff about media, I learn something new. For example, this week I made some thank you cards for some missionaries in our training program that are heading off to Ecuador. It was especially fun because I got to use pictures that they've taken of people that they know in Ecuador to create the cards. Many of you received similar cards from me in December thanking you for committing to making monthly donations/as a Christmas card. Also, this week I learned how to change the drum cartridge in the printer and print off labels online so that we can mail it back to the company and recycle it. Yeah for always having something new to learn!