Pride Check: Do You Choose Shame or Sadness?

Powerlessness is an opportunity to trust and grow. That was the topic of my last e-mail update. Since then there have been many more opportunities to trust and grow. Several this week even.

I have been thinking a lot about the difference between feeling shame over sin and sadness over sin. When I feel shame, I get stuck in a self-focused, downward spiral of guilt and condemnation. It's based on thinking that I have control and that I should be able to do better if I just work harder at doing better. But I keep failing. So I get mad at myself for not being perfect and not working hard enough and feel more ashamed. It's a cycle that's totally based in pride. Pride says that I have power (like Jesus does). Pride says that I have to be perfect (like Jesus was). Pride says that I have to take the punishment for sin (like Jesus did). There is no room for Jesus in this cycle and it never results in drawing me closer to Him. Shame says that I should be able to do this on my own and I'm mad that I can't. Shame says I have to beg God to help me. Shame doubts God's goodness.

Feeling sadness over sin is different. When I feel sadness over sin, my repentance does not lead to self-condemnation and self-focus, it leads to gratitude for Jesus and focus on Him. It is based in humility, which says I don't have the power to make you feel loved, I don't have the power to heal you, I'm not perfect, and I'm so thankful that you love me. I'm so thankful that you died to forgive me. I'm so thankful that you keep pursing me when I fall short. Sadness says that I can't do this without you and I'm thankful that you're here to help me. Sadness trusts God's goodness.

Prayer Requests:
-Conviction of pride
-Focus on Christ and not myself
-Increased trust in God's goodness
-Increased trust in God's forgiveness
-Increased trust in God's love
-A heart of gratitude