The First Snow

My sister Amy was in town from Charlotte, NC over Thanksgiving. It was nice to see her smiling face for a brief while... We had a game night at my parents' house Wednesday night and we laughed SO HARD! It was a really nice time!
What?!?! It's snowing!?!?! It totally surprised us! Our first snow was November 30th this year!
We love snow!

My, How You've Grown!

The Hayes used to live just down the street from me growing up. Gail taught with my mom and I've babysat Kristin and Bryan since I was in fifth grade. When I left for college, Bryan was going to kindergarten... now look at him! He's passed up me, his mom, AND his dad in height! WOW! Not long after I went to college, the Haynes moved to Chicago, so it had been a while since I'd seen them...now they're back, settling in Eureka and loving the mix of small town and city life.

"Wow!" was about all I could say for the first few minutes that I saw them! Good thing their mom was with them, or I probably wouldn't have recognized them! As we sat talking about their college plans and future aspirations, I began to remember things about them I'd forgotten, fun things we've done together... Began to see bits of their elementary school faces in their high school-aged faces... (Well, almost high school for Bryan--he's 14 and in eighth grade. Kristin is 17!!!) So many things have changed since 2000 when I left for college! I was blessed to have some time to reconnect with them and proud to hear of their adventures in theater, with film making, Boy Scouts, first date stories, etc... They make me smile! Always have!

A Day in the Life of an Aspiring Missionary...

Some of you have asked how I spend my day… What does someone who is support-raising DO during the day??? I’ve gotten to a fairly stable routine these days, though times are approximate you can get an idea of what tasks fill my day. I don’t have another job on the side that pays a regular salary: this is IT!

8:00-10:00 Wake up, Pray for Prayer Partners, Breakfast, Devotional, Shower…(This Time Sometimes Includes Running/Prayer Walking at a Nearby Park, Unless It’s Crazy-Cold)

10:00-12:30 Call Churches to Find the “Missions Person” and Request Possible Funding, Stuff Envelopes for Interested Parties with an Intro. Letter, Statement of Faith, and Brochure Explaining My Ministry…Call Once A Week Until They Call Me Back Or I Catch of a “Real” Person…Give Two Weeks to Look Through Brochure and Call Once A Week Until I Know Next Step/When the Missions Committee Meets Next/A Verdict About Funding

12:30-1:00 Eat Lunch, Put a Stack of Stuff in the Mailbox

1:00-3:00 Call More Churches or Run to Post Office for Stamps, Store to Get Envelopes, or Office Max to Make More Copies of Intro. Letter to Churches and Statement of Faith

3:00-3:30 Drive to Bread Co. or Library to Work on Internet

3:30-5:30 E-mail to Set up Appointments with Individuals, E-mail Intro. Letter to Various Churches, or Look Up More Church Names, Addresses and Phone Numbers to Add Them to My Database, Add Recently Added Prayer Partners to Sub-Group In E-Mail By Day On Which They Pray For Me, Update My Blog to Tell About What God’s Been Teaching Me or Post Fun Pictures From Recent Events, Request Addresses From People I Only Have E-mails For

5:30-6:00 Drive to Appointment

6:00-8:00 Support Appointment (OR Sometimes I Baby-sit for People…Yes, This is a Subtle Advertisement For My Baby-sitting Services! I miss kids!)

8:00-8:30 Drive Home

8:30-9:30 Enter Data From Appointment Into Database, Check What Percentage Support I’m at---Currently It’s 71% !!!, Pray for God to Guide the Churches I’ve Sent Brochures To As They Allocate Their Funds, Write Thank You Notes, Call People That Are Out of Town or That I Don’t Have an E-Mail For

9:30-10:30 Clean Up Things (Dishes, Room, etc.), Enter Reimbursements For Week (Support Raising Materials---Stamps, Copies, etc.) into Excel Spreadsheet, Read Some Psalms or a Book or Journal About What I’m Learning/Ways God’s I've Seen God Working That Day

10:30 Go to Sleep

Another Day of Joy!

Support-raising can be really hard, so my friends Stef and Renee took me out for a day of joy! It was a surprise day of joy, at that! A surprise breakfast started it off!

Then we went to Art Hill and log -rolled down it! It was really fun! We've actually log-rolled down other hills, but this is quite a LARGE hill and had a different effect on us. Yes, there was LOTS of smiling and laughing as is the pattern with these two friends, but there was also a little bit of "ohhhhh, my head!" and "uuuuug, my stomach!" Maybe not the best idea to try that right after eating? Take a look at this video...we just kept rolling, and rolling, and rolling...



Apparently it was synchronized log-rolling at times...

Log-rolling does crazy things to a girl's hair (see below)

I spend a lot of hours each day on the phone calling churches and am generally by myself most of the time on most days, so it was really nice just spend some time around quality people! God is so good! He is constantly providing!

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" -Psalm 126:3

Dance to the Music

“Oh but you move me
You give me courage I didn't
Know I had”
-Susan Ashton, “You Move Me”

God has been moving me away from pursuing appointments with individual people/families and towards calling churches for support. So far I’ve contacted 115 churches and 30 of them have let me send them a brochure about my future plans. Pray that God will guide them as they allocate funds for 2009, specifically in the area of missions. Many programs are being downsized due to the economy. Pray that God would provide for the ministries that they already support as well as my future ministry. Praise him for giving me new boldness—not even a month ago calling up churches was incredibly intimidating!

“I'm letting go
Of the life I've planned for me,
And my dreams
I'm losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I'm fallin in
That's what it's like to believe
So I'm letting go”
--Francesca Battistelli, “I’m Letting Go”

I’ve felt like I’m falling a lot lately---it’s a scary feeling! Pray that God will help me to let go of whatever plans I’ve had for myself (or even how long fundraising will take) and trust that His are better. When I get scared, I try to control and organize and plan and clean things. Like Battistelli says, though, faith is “letting go” of the illusion of control and trusting. Pray that I would trust Him more!

” 'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you”
--Tenth Avenue North, “By Your Side”

I love how God speaks to me through music on the radio! This song makes me think of when babies are all wriggly and fussy and squirmy in their mom’s arms and then they settle down and realizes they’re safe there and become quite content---in the exact same position that was just causing them crazy amounts of frustration. Pray that I would realize I’m safe in God’s arms---that I’d find meaning in Him rather than productivity, people calling me back, being used by Him, etc. That I’d stop squirming and just be still.

“Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly”
---Sanctus Reel, “Whatever You’re Doing”

I identify very much with the “chaos inside” feeling Sanctus Reel describes. Some days that chaos is accompanied by belief and some days it isn’t. Pray that God would give me the gift of faith! That I would believe Him more and more. I think part of the chaotic feeling is realizing that part of me wants to keep believing lies because they’re safe and familiar and part of me wants to believe truth. The truth is always bigger and larger and takes some adjusting to. It’s a constant battle and it wears me out. Pray for rest (a result of trust, I think?).

I appreciate you!

Kindergarten Memories: I Can't Stop Smiling!

I've had the honor of spending some time with five of my former students in the last month. A few times I forgot my camera (sorry Avram and Ella!), but for the most part I remembered it. And I'm so glad I did! I've been missing being a teacher and seeing kids for seven or eight hours a day---it's been SO NICE to reconnect! They are always making me smile and laugh!

There was sliding...

There was tag amidst the tunnels....

They look so innocent now, but they're speedy crawlers! And tireless as well!

(Those tunnels are a little tougher on the knees than I remember!)

Storytelling... (hand motions and voice inflection are a must!)

Hugging...

Spontaneous Dancing...

(If you listen close, you can hear him reciting the commands in the Cha Cha Slide!)

And Birthday Partying!

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of this. But one of my kindergarten friends randomly asked when my birthday is (April 1st--in case you were wondering!) and decided I probably wouldn't be in town then, so we better celebrate now. He blew up balloons and taped them around the kitchen, taped up some streamers, and sang to me. I can't tell you how special that made me feel! I love how kids are so unashamed in thier affection towards adults! If they love you, they let you know!

Additionally, this kindergarten friend is convinced that I'm moving to Florida to "stop the wars there." He's quite confident that I'll succeed in that endeavor as well. He believes in me so much! It was a day of laughter and smiles all around!

Here's another former kindergarten kiddo. We had great fun racing throughout the park. I could almost keep up with him! Six year olds are FAST! I had a blast seeing each of them again (The ones I don't have pictures of as well! You are no less incredible!

Sorry I forgot the camera!)!

All to Real

This morning I came across a verse that I didn’t remember hearing before, which really played itself out during my day: “I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.” --Psalm 119:104

Later in the day I got an e-mail about a friend who has gone down some very wrong paths. It hurt my heart to read about what all has been happening in his life lately; I hate sin! I really, really hate it! It tears people apart and causes so much misery! God, teach me to hate every wrong path…to absolutely abhor sin, detest anything that would separate me from you!

Within the hour of getting the e-mail about my friend, I returned home and found a snake in my house. Yes, a real, live snake! You have got to be kidding me! It was like evidence that Satan is alive and active in the world especially much today!

I really wished there was a guy around to take care of that snake for me, but there wasn’t, so I got down to business…I slid a piece of paper under it and moved it closer to the wall so I could scoop it up. It was wriggling all over the place! With that piece of paper under it and pressing a piece of junk mail on top of it, I tried to secure the snake enough to lift him off of the floor and not loose him on the way upstairs. (Imagine using two utensils to secure a hunk of salad and keep a firm grasp on it as you move the salad out of the bowl and onto your plate…it was like that with the snake.)

But he was too fast! Agh! I let go of the papers and jumped back. I didn’t want him to touch me! Did I mention that I’m afraid of snakes, dogs, and the dark? The piece of junk mail rested partly on top of him…. he slid under it to escape from me.

It crossed my mind that I was considerably larger than the snake and IT was probably afraid of ME. Nevertheless, he nestled himself under the junk mail as if to hid under a rock; but NO! I plunged my flip-flop clad foot onto the piece of junk mail, sandwiching him in! I could tell he was getting angry, so I jumped up and down on that foot a few times until I thought it was safe. (Looking back, I’m really thankful I had shoes on right then.) I stepped back slowly… There was no movement. So ends the story of the snake…

Unfortunately, Satan’s a snake too; and his story isn’t over yet. We know how it ends (Victory for Jesus!), but the middle is pretty horrible sometimes. God reminded me, through my unwanted reptile visitor and the e-mail this morning, not only just how real and active Satan is (It’s not like people just sit around and think, “I’d really like to be tempted today,” …he’s always trying to destroy us!), but also how big God is. Even when lies and fear and sin seem huge and scary (like the snake did), God is in control and can give me perspective. He sees Satan for the pesky little nuisance that he is! As Romans 16:20 says, “The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” May I always remember how big God is! How able He is to crush sin! To crush Satan!

Trunk or Treat

There were some pretty cute kiddos at the Trunk or Treat at my church this year!

From Harry Potter

To Firemen

To an adorable monkey!

His mom was the banana tree.

She said she was his source of nutrition, afterall. I think they both look pretty cute!

Leave it to Him....Lessons are Everywhere

This morning I went prayer walking during my extra hour of Daylight Savings Time. I went because I was feeling particularly sinful and down and sunlight is one of the things that cheers me up most! It’s amazing how quickly God can change my attitude through nature, physical movement, and prayer.

On the way home, I was looking at the trees and thinking about how it’s God that changes the colors of the leaves. It struck me not that it was Him that controls leaves changing colors, but that the whole process is gradual. First the leaf is green and then slowly but surely it turns to yellow or orange or red. It’s not like one day the leaf is totally green and the next day---KABOOM!----it’s totally yellow.

I think God changes us a lot like he changes the colors of the leaves: gradually. We aren’t in the pit of despair one day and wake up the very next day feeling completely, authentically joyful. We aren’t ridiculously prideful one day and then thoroughly humble the next. Change and healing take time. A lot of times there are still remnants of our old ways and thinking patterns that show up in our lives, like the green vein lines in the yellow leaf I found on my walk. When a little bit of my old self peeks through, I need to remember that God has already begun to change my coloring (to be more like Jesus) and he’s not finished with me yet! Furthermore, I am predominately a new color (yellow, in this case!); the green vein lines don’t define me as much as my new self or new color does. If anything, they can remind me of how far I’ve come/how different I am than I once was.