Where Are You? Why Does It Hurt?

In No Place to Cry Doris Van Stone suggests that, “God allows us to be wounded only that he might heal us.” Van Stone’s statement reminds me of an analogy I read about in college---that God hides himself from us (like when playing hide and seek) in anticipation of the joy of reunion. If you try to play hide and seek and no one hides, then there is no joy of finding anyone, no thrill, no adrenaline, no anticipation, no mystery... Furthermore, as the hide and seek analogy went, sometimes God says, in effect, “Hey, look over here!” or waves his arm at us from behind the couch where he hides to make it more likely that we will find him. His goal is not to stay hidden; his goal is joyful reunion and even deeper relationship with us. Sometimes I think about the hide and seek analogy when I feel far away from God---it helps to remember that he wants me to find him and that he’s busy giving me clues about how to do that, even as he is hidden.

God hiding his face from us or distancing himself from us is something that is really hard to understand, much like Van Stone’s discussion of pain. It’s really hard to understand why God allows pain because we can’t see how something that hurts could possibly be good for us (even if it does result in lots of spiritual growth). Van Stone goes on to ask, “Do I have scars? Of course. [She was abused a lot growing up.] But there is something beautiful about a scar. It means that you have been healed—that you are on the mend.” I’ve never thought of “scars” or “evidence of pain” in that way. If we didn’t know pain, we wouldn’t know God as the Healer. His goal is not to bring us pain; his goal is healing, even deeper relationship with us, and even deeper ability to connect with others when they hurt.