Celebration of Life

It rained and rained right before the funeral today. I think God was crying...

The auditorium, which holds 1,200 people, was quite full (maybe 900 people?). Another 400 joined via streaming online. The word on the street is that there is a celebration of Kylee page on facebook that has 1,200 friends just since her death on Wednesday. I am humbled by the impact God can have through one life.

Just before the service began, Renee came up behind me and hugged me. Tears streamed down my face as I sat in the pew. Already. It hadn't even started yet and I was crying... Rabecca put her arm around me as the ceremony started. (And held me when I wept after it was over.) I am thankful for so many who love and support me here.

I spent the last night with the Bryants, the college/young adult ministers at my church. I called them to ask them to pray for me because I have been having a really hard time sleeping (I keep crying and thinking of more memories of Kylee.) and wanted to ask them to pray for me before I went to bed. I also have not been to church since the end of Feburary since I've been sick for most of March and hoped Angie could keep an eye out for me on Sunday, that she'd purposefully hug me or love on me the following day. The Bryants ended up inviting me over to spend the night in their guest bedroom. They listened to stories of Kylee, held me while I wept, stroked my hair and prayed for me until my heart, mind, and body relaxed. Peace is a beautiful gift to give someone. The next day they drove me to church, and Angie held me and prayed for me again when I started weeping after Sunday School. A friend had touched my back on the way out of the room and said, "I'm sorry it's hard." And I had just lost it. I was exhausted, but decided to stay for just the worship part of the service. It was intense and real and deep. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear..." I lost it again. "Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm, oh no, you never let go, Lord you never let go of me." Angie drove me home, and got me some lunch on the way back. Food is also a beautiful thing to give sad friends. That's just a few examples of so many ways that the Body is coming together and reaching out here...

But back to the funeral, or The Celebration of Kylee's Life. It really was a celebration. If she'd been able to plan it, she'd have had us dance tonight. One of the speakers mentioned this, though didn't quite dare to implement it. Kylee was such a goofy, fun, uninhibited dancer! I have thought of her dancing often over the last few days as an expression of her life and vitality. The night felt full, complete, peaceful as we fellowshiped and remembered her.

Shane was deeply touched as he expressed the honor it was to be her brother. Songs, slide shows, and other testimonies followed. A blog post that Kylee wrote about her longing for heaven showed how clearly she understood that our stay here is temporary, that our true Home is with God. Weeks earlier women in her small group had expressed fear of dying and who would take care of their children if they did. Kylee reassured them that they did not need to fear, telling them that her children were God's first before they were her's, and that if she died, she knew He would take care of them. Wow.

At one point, we were asked to raise our hands if we counted Kylee as one of our top ten friends in the world. As I raised my hand, I looked around at how a good third of the people in the front sections of the sanctuary had extended theirs as well. Wow. That's the kind of person that she was... she made everyone feel like they were her best friend, like they were extremely valuable, always worth spending time with. At least two people acknowledged that they did not get to spend as much time with Kylee as I had and that they wanted me to continue her legacy by teaching them the things she had taught me... Wow.

As part of the service, we were given papers to fill out about the first things we think of when we think of Kylee, specific memories of her, things she taught us... I loved that part. It is so easy to write about her. The stories flowed quickly from my pen. Later I hugged Matt, showed him my new nose (It's healing nicely.), and told him that whenever I'm scared or tempted to believe people don't love me, etc. I think of what she would say to me, that choosing to believe Truth and trust is the legacy that she's left for me. He said that was true of many who attended tonight. And that when he has three months of free time he looks forward to reading all the papers people filled out! He was touched so many people attended. Proud so many were involved online, through facebook. His first words to me during that hug were, "She was a beautiful woman. Beautiful in every way." That seems like a fitting way to end this post.