Dance to the Music

“Oh but you move me
You give me courage I didn't
Know I had”
-Susan Ashton, “You Move Me”

God has been moving me away from pursuing appointments with individual people/families and towards calling churches for support. So far I’ve contacted 115 churches and 30 of them have let me send them a brochure about my future plans. Pray that God will guide them as they allocate funds for 2009, specifically in the area of missions. Many programs are being downsized due to the economy. Pray that God would provide for the ministries that they already support as well as my future ministry. Praise him for giving me new boldness—not even a month ago calling up churches was incredibly intimidating!

“I'm letting go
Of the life I've planned for me,
And my dreams
I'm losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I'm fallin in
That's what it's like to believe
So I'm letting go”
--Francesca Battistelli, “I’m Letting Go”

I’ve felt like I’m falling a lot lately---it’s a scary feeling! Pray that God will help me to let go of whatever plans I’ve had for myself (or even how long fundraising will take) and trust that His are better. When I get scared, I try to control and organize and plan and clean things. Like Battistelli says, though, faith is “letting go” of the illusion of control and trusting. Pray that I would trust Him more!

” 'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you”
--Tenth Avenue North, “By Your Side”

I love how God speaks to me through music on the radio! This song makes me think of when babies are all wriggly and fussy and squirmy in their mom’s arms and then they settle down and realizes they’re safe there and become quite content---in the exact same position that was just causing them crazy amounts of frustration. Pray that I would realize I’m safe in God’s arms---that I’d find meaning in Him rather than productivity, people calling me back, being used by Him, etc. That I’d stop squirming and just be still.

“Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly”
---Sanctus Reel, “Whatever You’re Doing”

I identify very much with the “chaos inside” feeling Sanctus Reel describes. Some days that chaos is accompanied by belief and some days it isn’t. Pray that God would give me the gift of faith! That I would believe Him more and more. I think part of the chaotic feeling is realizing that part of me wants to keep believing lies because they’re safe and familiar and part of me wants to believe truth. The truth is always bigger and larger and takes some adjusting to. It’s a constant battle and it wears me out. Pray for rest (a result of trust, I think?).

I appreciate you!